.: The Great Dane :.

.: Funny Facts :.

If you already are an owner of a Great Dane you know what this is about ... if you are looking to become an owner - well, be aware! It's true ;o)

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A GREAT DANE OWNER IF ...

  • the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell: "GO OUTSIDE!"
  • you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair
  • it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets
  • you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are
  • you can carry on a conversation with your dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch
  • your boy can hide an entire soccer ball fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says: "What? I didn't see the kids' ball!"
  • you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle
  • you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house
  • after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake
  • you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog
  • visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively
  • you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway
  • you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns
  • you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub
  • your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time
  • you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink
  • you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog
  • while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting
  • you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling
  • you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup
  • you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that 'thing'?"
  • the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment
  • your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal helicopter
  • you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink
  • the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose
  • your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation
  • you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, you take a short (but fast!) ride straight to the door
  • the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk
  • your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change
  • you purchase a large screen TV and you STILL can't see the program when he stands in front of the television 

... or one more?!

20 STEPS TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY NEW PUPPY

  1. Get the puppy, the camera and a film
  2. Take the new film out of the box and place it into the camera
  3. Take the film box out of the puppy's mouth and through it into the trash can
  4. Take the puppy out of the trash can and brush the ground coffee off his snout
  5. Look for a nice background for the picture
  6. Adjust the camera and turn it on
  7. Search for your puppy and take the old socks out of his mouth
  8. Position the puppy in front of the backgound and go to the camera
  9. Forget about the nice background and crawl on all fours after your pup
  10. Adjust the camera with one hand and bait the puppy with with the other hand
  11. Get a tissue to clean off the nose print on the lense of the camera
  12. Take the add-on flash out of the puppy's mouth and through it in the trash (the flash!!!)
  13. Lock out the cat and treat the scratch on puppy's nose with an ointment
  14. Put the books, newspaper and magazine back on the livingroom table
  15. Make the puppy look alert with the help of a squeeking toy which you hold over your head
  16. Put your glasses back on your nose and find the camera under the sofa
  17. Jump up just in time to grab the puppy and yell: "GO OUTSIDE"
  18. Call your spouse to help with the cleaning of the house
  19. Pour yourself a double Martini
  20. Lean back on your rocking chair and decide to train the puppy "sit" and "down" first thing in the morning ;o)

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